A Response to “I don’t know how to be Catholic anymore”

Earlier this week, Mary Elizabeth Williams wrote a piece called “I don’t know how to be Catholic anymore” on Salon.

In it, she describes her frustrations with her new parish priest and her beliefs that are different from what Christ teaches (as protected and promoted by the Catholic Church).

She wrote a number of concerning things in her article, but I also see a woman who is hurting, who is lost and is seeking Jesus through the confusion. In this blog post, I hope to address both topics.

Love

As I’ve said before, we must share the truth with love, but I know all my remarks about the missing facts and contradictions in her piece won’t matter to anyone who agrees with her unless I show her the respect she deserves first.

I think it’s beautiful how she described her and her daughter’s feelings towards the Church.

My 14-year-old, however, took to the church exactly like I did as a child. She loves the ritual and order of it; she loves the storytelling of it. And she loves the values it represents. We go to mass together on Sunday mornings, and it’s a meditative bonding time for the two of us.

She also described what sounds like a vibrant parish that really embraces the teachings of Christ. 

I also admired that she said recognized her “obligation to call out the crimes and hypocrisies of the institution…” The unfortunate reality is that though we are Christ’s Church, even those in authority aren’t sinless. I believe it takes strength to fall out these evils and advocate for change even though it is an uncomfortable topic.

I also agree that it can be difficult to be a woman in the Church. Though I thoroughly recognize that the Catholic Church is the greatest upholder of human dignity for women, I will admit that it can be difficult in the day-to-day. There are some horrific things in Church history, but these are consequences of the Fall.

God always intended for men and women to be treated equally, and the Church strives for that. Yes, we will always encounter people who fail to live this, but there are also great people in the Church who protect God’s teaching on equality.

When I feel discouraged, I think of Pope Saint John Paul II, one of the most respected modern theologians who wrote both Mulieris Dignitatem and Letter to Women. I find relief when respected apologists shoot down a man’s complaints that the Church is too focused on women. And I find strength and hope from the strong, authentically Catholic women like those in FemCatholic.

Though I disagree with her on many topics, I want to reaffirm that she, like everyone else, is welcome amongst all us other sinners. In fact, having doubts and concerns can be a healthy way to grow in faith.

So to all the Mary Elizabeth Williamses out there who question how to be a Catholic when you feel at odds with Her teachings: please continue seeking the truth and please keep coming to Mass even if you can’t participate fully.

Jesus wants you here, and we as Catholics want you to join us as we experience Heaven on Earth every Mass.

Truth

One of the beautiful things about the Catholic Church is that it is universal; in fact, when we say the Creed, when we mention “one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church” we use the lowercase “c” for catholic because that means universal.

Williams explained “I’ve always been more of Stephen Colbert Catholic than a Paul Ryan one” and talked about how she perceived her parish from childhood to be unique.

And to be fair, there is some room for differences. There might even be different ways Catholics worships (as demonstrated by the beautiful liturgies from Eastern Catholics).  However, there are many non-negotiables when it comes to our Catholic faith. You can’t deny the Trinity, you can’t ignore that Christ is truly present in the Eucharist, and so on. But it doesn’t stop at religious beliefs. We must also trust the Church when it comes to moral and social teachings.

Williams describes the teachings she disagrees with as “the other kind of Catholicism.” But in reality, there is only one kind of Catholicism (I say this because even the different rites are under the authority of the Pope).

You either strive to accept all the teachings of Christ’s Church, or you aren’t living life as a Catholic. I say this not to scare people away but to challenge them: if you trust the Church’s teachings on ABC, why do you think they are wrong on XYZ? How can the Church be right about something as radical as the Eucharist – that the bread before us is literally the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity – but be wrong on wrong on Her teachings about marriage?

If the Church is right about certain things and has survived 2,000 years of war, corruption, and heresies, shouldn’t we give a little more trust in what she teaches?

Marriage Equality

One of Williams’ first points is on marriage equality. I understand that this is an immensely difficult teaching. In fact, this is one of the teachings I struggled with the most in college. However, when I sought out reasons why the Church taught what it did (with the motivation of persisting in my belief that love is love), I learned that I was wrong.

Now I’ll admit the term “traditional marriage” is questionable, but the belief behind it – that marriage is between one man and one woman for life- is not. The purpose of marriage is to get your spouse to Heaven. Sex is considered a foretaste of Heaven. This sacred bond of marriage cannot be broken.

But why must it be between one man and one woman? We could turn to natural law and recognize that sex is meant to be unitive and procreative. It is obvious that sex between two people of the same sex cannot fulfill half of the purpose no matter what.

But there is also a deeper theological meaning. Man and woman were made for each other. They have different strengths and weaknesses, making them complementary. It is through men and women that we get the image and likeness of God.

However, proclaiming the truth about marriage isn’t (and shouldn’t be) hateful. Williams claims that Pope Francis said something along the lines of “God makes us who we are and loves us as we are” as though to point out that there is some contradiction. Though it’s easy to disregard her point because there isn’t reliable evidence Pope Francis actually said this (the cited article has content that has been criticized), we should instead recognize what people are really asking: acceptance in the Church. Yes, God loves every single person on Earth because they are His creation. However, because God loves us, he calls us to live up to His image and likeness. One way of this is through embracing the virtue of chastity.

That being said, people in the Church have failed to love our brothers and sisters who are attracted to people of the same sex. This is why we must look at all the teaching on homosexuality including that it can be a cross for many people and that “[t]hey must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity.” (You can read a concise explanation on homosexuality in The Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraphs 2357-2359).

Later in her piece, she claims that Jesus didn’t discuss these difficult issues. First of all, Jesus doesn’t have to say something explicitly for us to have a teaching on it. Secondly, Jesus affirms the teachings on marriage (see Matthew 19 and Mark 10). Finally, we have one Triune God, so what God the Father taught for morality was also true during Christ’s earthly mission and today.

Abortion

Williams also raised concerns regarding the Church teaching on abortion. I absolutely agree that what her pastor supposedly said (“the new person stood up and condemned women who ‘kill their babies for convenience’”) was tone deaf. And I am firmly opposed to calling post-abortive women “murderers.”

I do think we as Catholics can be more sensitive to the reality that many women seek abortion out of fear or desperation; some might not even know that there is a human life within them due the despicable, dehumanizing language used to describe the unborn. But this doesn’t justify the act itself because abortion ends a human life.

Spite and Biological Ignorance

She then goes on to talk about some devastating cases where hospitals denied women medical treatment because they were pregnant. “I thought of how often the church demands women sacrifice their lives, out of pure spite and biological ignorance.” I personally consider her anger righteous, but the target (and the motivations she assumes of it) are wrong. You see these facilities were right in refusing an abortion, but they were wrong in denying the women any treatment.

Though the Church celebrates women who make the heroically virtuous decision to sacrifice their lives for their children (St. Gianna Beretta Molla and Servant of God Chiara Corbella Petrillo, for example) it is not a requirement.

It is in these situations where the Church appeals to the principle of double effect. That is, if your intention is to help the mother (morally good) and not to end the life of the child (morally evil), but the consequence of the act is the unintentional death of the child, it is acceptable. You can read an excellent explanation by Matthew A.C. Newsome on Catholic Answers, and look at other complicated issues on the National Catholic Bioethics Center Website. So even the first part of her complaint – that the Church “demands women sacrifice their lives” is wrong, but what about that issue of “spite and biological ignorance”?

Every rule the Catholic Church has is because God loves us and wants us to be in Heaven with Him. These rules aren’t to punish us or make us miserable. These rules are to sanctify us and lead us to Heaven. The Church reminds women that abortion is morally evil because they want them to go to Heaven, not because they want them to suffer.

As for biological ignorance, I’m not sure what she is referring to. But to claim that people in the pro-life movement are “biologically ignorant” is frankly, ignorant. In my experience, most abortion rights advocates deny that the fetus is a living human.  From my extensive research, I have yet to find a reputable, scientifically-founded resource that denies that a unique human life begins at any point beyond conception.

Now, whether or not that life has value is a philosophical question, but biologically speaking, there is a life developing from the moment of conception. For a collection of peer-reviewed sources, I recommend The Fetal Position; even if you hate the website and think it is biased, you can click through each paper to read and judge it on your own.

Church Teaching

Williams then claims that the teaching on abortion wasn’t set until 1869. This is incredibly misleading as the Church has been decrying it throughout its history. The Didache (which came from the first century) states “You shall not procure abortion, nor destroy a newborn child.” Even though a hard and fast rule didn’t come about until 1869 doesn’t mean that the underlying morality has changed.

She also pointed out that St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas differentiated between life and humanness, but Trent Horn addressed this clearly by saying

Some pro-choice advocates claim that the Church’s teaching on abortion has changed because some theologians, such as Augustine, speculated that human beings might receive their souls several months after conception. In the first place, those Church Fathers who believed ensoulment occurred after conception never endorsed the view that abortion was moral. Second, they operated under the mistaken view of human development espoused by the philosopher Aristotle. He thought that unborn children progressed through vegetable and animal stages of life before their bodies were “animated” with a rational soul and they became human beings later in pregnancy.

Williams also appeals to the point that abortion wasn’t always an excommunicable offense. Excommunication isn’t the only way we recognize a sinful act. If I miss Mass on Sunday without just cause, I committed a mortal sin. Unless I repent, I could go to Hell. The Church doesn’t excommunicate me for this, but it is still a very serious sin.

Christ as a Role-Model

Again, Christ doesn’t need to say “abortion is sinful” for it to be a sin. We can look at the other teachings of Scripture and the example Christ set (love for the vulnerable, calling children to Him, etc.) and trust those He entrusted to protect His teachings to come to the rather obvious conclusion that ending an innocent life, even an unborn one, is morally wrong.

Violence

I want to conclude this lengthy section on abortion by pointing to a line Williams wrote very early in her piece

This is the Catholicism that I believe in and fight for, one spirituality rooted in real world action, one that speaks out from the pulpit against greed and violence.

If this is what you expect from the Church, why are you horrified when your priest calls out one of the most grievous acts of violence?

Moral Guidance

I’m going to wrap up this truth section with some much tougher love. Williams claimed she had a “role model in Christ” which shaped her and her daughter’s “moral compass” which made them believe in the permissibility of some gravely sinful acts.

If Christ is your role model, then you (you being all of us, myself included) need to look a little deeper at His teachings. We need to recognize that He established the Catholic Church to help guide His flock. We need to recognize that our personal moral compass is only valid if it is backed by a well-formed conscience (as informed by Christ and His Church’s teachings).

Because what Williams said is correct: “All I know is that first and foremost, I have to be accountable to my own conscience and to the incarnation of God I believe in.”

She, like me, and you, and every single person who ever existed will all be held accountable for the lives we lived on Earth. And because she rightly recognizes Christ as Lord and that He established the Catholic Church, she, like me and every Catholic will be judged with that weight. We don’t have the luxury of never being taught these things.

Conclusion

I’m not saying these truths are easy to follow. Being a Christian means carrying a cross. For some, it is heavier than others.

But there is something we must all remember that I think is summed up best by Williams’ daughter “I wanted to stay for God, not for him.”

As we grapple with these challenging teachings and imperfect people proclaiming them, we must remember who we are doing it for: Christ. And when we recognize who it is for, we are also brought consolation because He is there with us, guiding us through these challenges, helping us carry these crosses, and advocating for us so we can, God-willing, meet Him in Heaven.

 

Compass Photo by Ethan Sykes on Unsplash

Path Photo by Dustin Dagamac on Unsplash