Millennials get a lot of attention. Often, the attention is negative, framing us as self-involved, entitled, lazy children who are destroying beloved institutions like breastaraunts (shame on us for not wanting a side of objectification with our mediocre wings) and diamonds (how dare we go against materialistic mindsets and seek lower costing and more ethical options). I could go on and on about how frustrating this crappy painting of millennials is, but instead I want to focus on a place where we are actually respected: the Catholic Church.
Beyond the fact that the Catholic Church does an exceptional job acknowledging basic human dignity, it also recognizes that our generation is necessary for the growth and continuation of our earthly church. I think the problem that arises is people don’t know what we want.
Fortunately, there are certainly people trying to understand.
In the meantime, I want to talk about what I’ve experienced personally, and what I’ve learned from other young adults. I’ve recently become involved in two groups: a regional young adult board and a diocesan newlywed committee. Despite my short involvement, both groups have been opportunities to discuss what young adults really want from our Church, at least in our Diocese.
Before I continue, I want to make it clear that I know this won’t be true for every young adult. For one, it only really addresses one group of millennials: practicing Catholics. What to do about non-practicing Catholics, ex-Catholics, Protestants, the “nones”, atheists, etc. are all different conversations. They are conversations we need to have, but that is not the focus of my blog post. I am also not saying that every single young adult feels this way. I am sure there are other millennial Catholics who are incredibly devout and disagree with this post.
Regardless of where you are in your faith journey, if you disagree with me, please talk to me about it. I’d love to have a fruitful conversation on this topic.
Authentic Relationships
A repeated theme I hear from other young adults is a feeling of loneliness. During our newlywed committee meeting, we recognized that the common thread through all our discussion was a hunger for relationships. The Catholic Church has a lot of great resources when it comes to learning Church teachings and enriching our spiritual lives. Praise God because we need these things. But what we also need is to connect with other Christians.
We were not made to practice our faith alone. In our current culture, it is becoming increasingly difficult to live as a faithful Catholic. While the challenges we face pale in comparison to the persecution of Christians in other countries, these little issues we face can chip away at our faith. Despite having an eternal Church and an army of saints standing by us, we are also human and need tangible support from other people on earth.
However, we must be careful in how this is accomplished. We don’t want awkward, forced icebreakers so we can learn obscure facts about each other. We want opportunities that allow conversations to flourish. We want to share a communal meal or go out for some beers and chat. We want to shoot pool or do a service project together.
This isn’t to discredit Bible studies or small groups or other endeavors focused on spirituality. We absolutely need these because ultimately, our relationships need to be Christ-centered. However, how we go about these activities is crucial. We need to take that desire for relationships into account while planning and running these activities. While the content of the Bible study may be very important, Allison might not remember the significance of Hebrew wording when Eve is called a helper, but she is going to remember how she felt when she explained why she struggles with this passage and the responses she got from other ladies in the group. Robert might get lots of good information about dealing with a porn addiction, but if he can’t trust the other guys enough to reach out when he is struggling, it isn’t really going to stick.
Tradition and the Sacraments
I often see things about how we can make Mass “more relevant” to young people, but it is pretty rare for me to hear other young adults express this desire. What I do hear is a longing for the tradition. While people don’t necessarily want to go to a Traditional Latin Mass, there are aspects of our rich Catholic tradition that are appreciated. We worship body and soul, and Masses that engage this are key. Beautiful church buildings are a whole other discussion, but simply put, we want beautiful environments that inspire reverence and draw us into the truth and goodness of God.
The Mass is beautiful because of the sacrifice. It is beautiful because it is Heaven on Earth. We don’t need rock music or flashing lights; we need Jesus.
In a similar vein, we need better access to the sacraments. One of the biggest complaints I see on social media is a lack of access to confession. I’m fortunate enough to live in an area where it is very easy to go to confession, but not everyone has that privilege. And it shouldn’t be a privilege. Confession is necessary for our spiritual health. That being said, I know we have a shortage of priests, I am extremely grateful for all the wonderful priests out there! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO!
Talking about the Hard Stuff
One of the comments that came up during the young adult discussion was a distaste for watered-down theology. Catholicism is deep and intellectual.Many of the teachings are difficult, but we don’t want it simplified to the point that it is missing anything substantial. Don’t try to reframe something or gloss over tough stuff to make Catholicism more palatable. We need the substance.
We also need people willing to talk about difficult topics. Porn, abortion, divorce, same-sex marriage, gender identity, etc. are hugely important topics. I know addressing these is intimidating and can be awkward, but these are issues we cannot shy away from. Young adults, just like everyone else, at their core are starving for the truth. We need to share it (lovingly of course) even though it is difficult.
We also need to be willing to help people handle their doubts. I think the temptation is to assume that people are just stubborn children who refuse to listen rather than recognizing that they are genuinely struggling with something. We need to walk with them rather than just brush off their questions.
Separation from Politics
Unfortunately, people tend to turn their political affiliations into a religious obligation. While our faith must inform our political involvement, we must be very aware of the weaknesses that lie in our current political system.
Let’s be real: neither major political party meets our needs as Catholics. Claiming that one party is the only valid choice for a Catholic ignores the complexities of applying our faith to our lives. While there are certainly absolute moral evils promoted by one party versus another (and we can’t support that), there are flexibilities in our approach.
It is much more important to talk about issues in light of our faith rather than to promote one party or another as the best for Catholics.
Functional Websites
This is a much less important issue, but I still think it is worth mentioning. It is incredibly difficult to navigate parish websites. Information might be outdated or buried beneath six links. This is a major form of communication. If we want to shape a community and meet the needs of that group, we need to effectively reach them using a communication method that works.
***
How else do you think the Catholic Church can better serve millennials?
I’m an Exer but I’ve worked with the next generation for the past 15 years or so, both as a director of youth & young adult ministry, and then for the past 6 as a university professor (of theology). So much of what you say here rings true to what I have seen/heard from faithful Catholics, and honestly in some respect, to the things Gen X wanted but had no idea how to articulate, so they left. I certainly don’t want to collapse the two generations, since we have different experiences and needs. But I guess I want to say I hear you.
I am so impressed when I hear Millennials articulate their needs in such a thoughtful way. I also wonder if there is a way to empower Millennials to start *doing* the things they need? I mean, start a council that meets with the pastor to propose liturgical integrity, Promote your own Theology on Tap or intellectual discussion sessions with knowledgeable speakers (who may be older), find a local coffee shop to host hang outs, present a mission statement that refuses political engagement when doing x y and z… offer to volunteer to change up parish or other church websites that look like no one has touched them since 1997! (Usually Boomer pastors don’t even see an issue or know where to begin)
I always love sharing my work and knowledge and experience (building community, growing in friendships & faith, intellectual topics) with my Millennial friends. We learn so much from each other. But I also think generational shifts can create language barriers best served within a generation. I would love to see Millennials empowered to start all the great things you mentioned!
Christine,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply!
I agree that these aren’t isolated to my generation and that we as millennials have a responsibility to make these things happen. I am spoiled by my awesome diocese where a lot of your ideas are already being established, but I hope my readers take your great advice!
By the purest definition of the term, I’m considered a millennial but as you know there are lots of us and we span a large chunk of time. I’m one of those Oregan Trial Millenials but I can identify with this list on so many levels. The parish I’m at is the first one I’ve really committed to in my adult life and I joined a faith-sharing group. I am the youngest member of the group by about 30 years but the women involved are so authentic they inspire me each week with their kindness, wisdom, and generous and prayerful spirits. While a highly-functional website with social media would certainly be nice the points you mentioned about authenticity and tackling the hard stuff is right on! I love this!
Thank you! I love your point about how much we can learn from other generations. That is such a blessing you have that group!
You discuss the issues of “Porn, abortion, divorce, same-sex marriage, gender identity” as being important to millennials. I agree! Do you find Catholic millennials are more likely to support the traditional Catholic view on these issues, as opposed to the now massively dominant view among young people and society at large, which is often in opposition to Catholicism? I’m not from a very religious area, but generally I find Catholic youth are quite progressive, and I think what the Catholic Church would need to do to be more relevant to millennials is reconcile their teachings with our generational values today.
Hi Elise,
This is a great question!
In my experience, the Catholic millennials who are practicing their faith (attending the Mass at least once a week, regularly receiving the sacraments, serving the Church, etc.), are more likely to support the “traditional Catholic view” on these topics than older Catholic generations or other millennials who aren’t practicing/ aren’t Catholic/ aren’t religious. Mind you, this is purely anecdotal, and I live in a really great Diocese. What I have seen in actual studies is that the millennial generation, in general, is more pro-life than any other generation, and Catholics who practice their faith are more likely to adhere to its teachings.
But I think the bigger question here is if the Church needs to change her teachings to meet the values of a certain generation. The answer is no. First, and most importantly, what the Catholic Church teaches is the truth. Trying to cover or change the truth is sinful, and it will harm souls. Yes, it might make it “easier” to be a Catholic, but Christ never said our lives as Christians would be easy. Second, we need to recognize that the Church is beyond time. Trying to conform it to the desires of one generation is going to make it seem outdated to the next. And lastly, I think we need to look at why millennial Catholics are leaving the Church. While it is true many millennials are turned off by some of the Church’s teachings, a lot leave because their faith waivers. They don’t feel a relationship with Christ so the either go to a Protestant church or seek spirituality outside a church.
And this really goes into another conversation: how do we engage non-practicing millennials/ non-Catholic millennials. Though I think some aspects of this blog post fit, I think that really, the efforts need to focus on a relationship with Christ. A lot of teachings make more sense when you know and love Christ and His Church.
Speaking from experience, when I was a non-practicing Catholic, I disagreed with the Church’s stance on a lot of issues, but the Church changing those teachings wasn’t going to get me in the pews any quicker. The biggest separator was my lack of love from Christ. I needed to first encounter Christ in an intimate way and then be charitably taught the truth.
I am an ex-catholic of many years and my faith lands somewhere between agnostic and athiest. I live in such a way that I try never to hurt anyone, and live by my own strong moral code. I have friends whose lives were simply ruined by abusive priests when they were children. One took his own life. Stumbling towards sainthood? Are you kidding? Anyone — ANYONE — who subscribes to this rotting institution, anyone who participates in the Catholic church in this day and age is simply and unequivocally morally complicit in widespread child rape and evil. I cannot imagine how practicing Catholics sleep at night participating in such a morally reprehensible institution, but then Catholicism has many built-in tenets of self-deception. Faith has nothing to do with it. Jesus has absolutely nothing to do with it. “Men of God” as monsters, ruining lives, and causing greater suffering? Why not just quit while you’re ahead and worship the Devil directly, Catholics? Oh… i know all about the doctrine of forgiveness, yes, but the institutional protection of sexually predatory pedophiles is not something I can ever, ever overlook in order to assuage my fears of living without some nonsense fairy tales. Many thousands of lives have been ruined. Take a good long look. Find a better way.
I don’t have the words to express how sorry I am that you and your loved ones and so many others have been hurt so immensely by the Church. The abuse is inexcusable. I am disgusted by the abuse and cover-ups.
So why would I stay Catholic? Because I worship God, not the heirarchy. For reasons I don’t understand, Jesus entrusted His earthly Church to flawed men. And in that process, men who have acted evilly, despicably, disgustingly have found their way in.
I trust in God. I trust the Church He established. I might not trust many in the heirarchy, but I can’t leave the one true faith. I can’t leave the sacraments, especially the Eucharist.
So I will stay and fight. I will fight for this rot to be removed from the Church. I will fight that we as a Church do better and don’t let this happen again. I will do what I can to protect the good I am positive is in the Church underneath the filth. I will trust that God will bring justice.